Reading the Body Language Signals: Eye Contact

Published: 01st May 2009
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Eye contact is one of the most important and powerful components of communication and body language. But it's all about balance. Too much or not enough and you could play yourself right out of the game.

A lack of eye contact can be associated with a number of things:

 Disinterest in the person or conversation

 Thoughts wandering

 Not listening or paying attention

 Shyness

 Lack of confidence

 Dishonesty and deceitfulness

 Anxiety

None of the above possibilities are what you want to be conveying to a potential partner. They are all negative and have no real value in the dating game other than to thwart the efforts of someone you have no interest in.

Too much eye contact can also tell a person a few disconcerting things:

 Intense personality

 Overly fixated

 Possible psychotic tendencies

 Over-keen

 Desperate

Eye contact that is overdone in the negative sense will only serve to make your potential partner feel very uneasy and uncomfortable in your presence.

Positive eye contact starts off very casual in the early stages of communication between a guy and a girl. As each partner is speaking, eye contact is maintained intermittently. Glancing briefly away then making eye contact again on a regular basis lets the other person know that you are interested and paying attention, without them feeling like they are being locked with an intense stare. As things progress and the two of you are getting along famously, then more extended periods of eye contact are not only acceptable, but can make a person feel extra special and even be a turn on.

The above article is an excerpt from the author's book "Dating and Mating: Reading the Body Language Signals" by Darren G. Burton. To view or purchase a copy, visit:

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